The journalist personality

I’ve seen a million posts about the ‘PR’ personality- some of them are pretty funny and others are quietly damming, but I’ve never seen any categorisations of the journalist persona.

Actually that’s a lie, last month I read something liking journalism to running a Parisian boudoir, however when I try to comprehend that analogy, I start to feel dirty.

So, you can find my classifications below:

The suspicious

You mutter ‘hello’ and before you can say anything else, you’re treated as if you’re a Nigerian financier wanting to make a ‘nice’ deposit into their bank account.

The cold shoulder

Even if you’ve got an interview opportunity with David Beckham about his plans to carry the Olympic torch in nothing but a thong, there’s still no bite.

The Sherlock Holmes

As if you were conversing with a member of the constabulary, you’re peppered with question after question to the extent that it starts to feel like some sort of bizarre pub quiz.

The frosty

As soon as you utter the words ‘on behalf of’ or ‘from’, you’re spoken to as if you’ve just confessed to urinating on their doorstep.

The deity 

The renowned ‘expert’, and why should they be treated differently outside their echo chamber? Grovel, plead, acknowledge your unworthiness and don’t forget to offer gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.

The blanker

The hot potato

‘I’ve passed this on to another member of our team…’

Ohh you mean: ‘I’ve passed it to our intern’, ‘I’ve crumpled it up and now it’s doubling as a basketball for office fun’ or ‘I’ve rolled it up and smoked it’.

The pinocchio 

‘Send it over and I’ll take a look’… as the polygraph needles start fitting.

I’m not forgetting the good guys and this all sounds like I’m terrible at media relations doesn’t it? Don’t believe everything that’s published 😉


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